Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize