This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
