Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Randomize
