sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
