normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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