ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
This is classic penis vs brain.
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