Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
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