yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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