Midget sex pt 2 tonight
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
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