i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
