I think my vagina is haunted
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
