He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
