So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
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