After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
