I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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