Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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