Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
