best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize