i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
