we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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