Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
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