Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
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