i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
