i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
