The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I want to fling myself into the sun
Randomize
