You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
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