my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
