Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
