Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
