I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
