Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
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