FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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