I feel like I'm in dance class right now
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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