is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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