Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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