We named our party play list daddy issues
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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