you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
