Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
