you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
