I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
