I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Randomize
