i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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