Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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