dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Someone came in the potted fern
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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