just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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