He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Come see our sink grown plant.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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