she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
