if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I want her autograph on my taint
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
