How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
