Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Randomize