I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
