suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
