but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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