Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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