I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
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