Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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