Midget sex pt 2 tonight
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
