I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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