the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
