We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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