just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
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