you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
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