i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Houston, we have a blender
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
