hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Randomize
