All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
me + whiskey = a bad person
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize