How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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