i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize