the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I just had sex on a roof
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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