She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
