Plan B is the new Plan A
Do vagina's smell?
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
That reminds me...we need to get swords
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Randomize
