at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
