If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
