i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
