he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
