I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
