I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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