You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
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