Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
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