my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Randomize
