I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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