I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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