i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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