last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Randomize
