I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Randomize
