i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
