She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
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